Everyone is welcome!
On my quest to find a house of worship that welcomes people from all walks of life and is a good fit for me, I recently decided to attend a service at the First Congregational Church of Fort Lauderdale, United Church of Christ.
One thing that attracted me about this particular church is a disclaimer posted on their website which reads: “We are a welcoming, open and affirming church to all people of all races, genders, ages, sexual orientations, professions, previous religious affiliations, nationalities, or mental and physical conditions.”
I must admit however, I found it interesting how certain parts this disclaimer came into play during the service such as when the pastor asked the congregation if anyone was previously affiliated with the Catholic faith. She made a point to let the ones who raised their hands know they were especially welcomed, almost as if being Catholic was some type of disease. The other part of the disclaimer that seemed to be highlighted was the welcoming of those with “mental conditions”, which I think is great, although I’m not sure giving them a tambourine is the best way to make everyone else feel as welcome.
But staying within the guidelines of their “everyone is welcome” mantra, the church truly did seem intent on welcoming everyone, and I do mean everyone because as I entered the sanctuary I noticed a lady who was accompanied by a dog. This wasn’t a seeing eye dog, nor was is one of the small varieties that one may expect to see Paris Hilton carrying in her purse, but rather a beautiful golden retriever. Before I really had time to fully process the dog being in church, I noticed there were several other dogs accompanied by their apparent owners as well. I must have looked a bit startled as I was quickly approached by one on the ushers who informed me that this particular Sunday was “pet anointing” day. The thought was interesting, so even though I didn’t have a pet, I decided to stay, although I must admit it did make me look twice at the stains on the pew cushion next to where I would later find a seat.
After being given the explanation I was informed by the same usher that he’d not seen me in church before, to which I explained I was a first time visitor. To this he replied; “Well let me get you a name tag. You must have a name tag.” So reluctantly I followed the gentlemen over to a table where I was presented with a “hello my name is” sticker upon which he wrote my name with one of those markers that has a strong enough smell you feel certain you’re going to catch a buzz from it.
After the usher placed the nametag on my shirt, I decided to keep with my tradition and I found a seat in the last row, close to an exit. Upon entering the sanctuary I couldn’t help but to notice the beautiful woodwork…along with the price tags that still hanging from the plastic plants that adorned the window ledges. But as the people filed in, I also couldn’t help but notice I was one of only two sitting in the back. Unfortunately, in a church that would easily seat 600, only about 150 were in attendance and 148 of them were seated in the first 10 rows. It was during the “welcoming” part of the service that I was informed by the other brave soul who sat in the back that “they like everyone to sit up front” and that she was sitting in back because she was allergic to dogs. So for this particular Sunday, so was I.
As the service started, again I found myself less than impressed with the choir. Now I always hate to be a critic of a church choir, but I often find it difficult to not be as I’m fond of great choirs, so I found it particularly refreshing to know that on this Sunday I didn’t have to be. As the choir started to sing, the dogs took care of that for me. I had a feeling this was going to be a treat!
With the exception of the growls, barks and howls that one may not usually expect to hear during a service, I thought this one wasn’t so bad...That is until the part came when they welcomed all new visitors. They asked if one by one, those of us attending for the first time would stand and introduce ourselves. This is why it pays to sit in the back. Before they got past the first few newcomers sitting closer to the front, I was able to stealthily peal the odorous name tag from my shirt and stick it to my bulletin. I knew if they didn’t see the name tag, I would somehow blend in with the other people sitting rows ahead of me and I wouldn’t have to stand up and introduce myself as the newbie. But just about the time I thought I had pulled off more than my name tag, I felt a cold chill that one only gets when they know they’re being watched. So I slowly and nonchalantly looked around and there he was. The usher who had quickly greeted me and given me my name tag was watching me. My palms began sweating…what would I do? Fortunately, before it was my turn, the ushers were summoned to prepare to pass the offering plates. Whew, close call!
But as the service progressed, I again found myself thinking about the welcoming message of the church and diversity. But as I pondered this, I couldn’t help but to notice there was only one brown-skinned man in the congregation. The only problem with this was it quickly took my mind from thinking about the importance of diversity to thinking that he too was sitting by himself and that he was quite attractive. OK, I thought, that’s it. Here I am thinking ungodly thoughts in the house of the lord which led me to think I need to get out of here and carry out my usual Sunday tradition of having a cocktail on the beach. But wouldn’t you know, somewhere between all of this, members of the congregation were asked to offer prayer request and the only one I heard as I forced myself to take my mind and eyes off of the good looking, brown skinned man was one for someone named Claude who had an addiction to alcohol. Irony at its best! I couldn’t help but to laugh just a bit which led me back to wondering why it was that every time I go to church, I have to go home and ask for forgiveness?
Needless to say as the service ended and I was quick to exit as I didn’t want to be seen by the usher who had originally greeted me. This time I wasn’t too worried about being struck by lighting as I was relatively well behaved and was semi-able to keep my A.D.D. in check, but I did make sure I didn’t walk on the grass. I may return to try this one again.
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